My INTENTION is to stay sober. To live each day alcohol-free no matter what is swirling around me. Sometimes it helps to slow down for a minute and think about what that INTENTION to stay sober really entails.
Intention as defined per Google Dictionary: a thing intended; an aim or plan. “she was full of good intentions”.
Similar: aim, purpose, intent, objective, object, goal, target, end
When we make the decision to live life sober, we set an intention. And from what I’ve learned while on this alcohol-free journey, one of the most important things is just this. When we say “make sober non-negotiable” this is exactly what we are doing, setting our intention to be alcohol-free…no matter what the reason may pop up to have a drink or two.
When we say “maybe just this once”, again, no matter what the reason, we are setting a new intention.
Our intentions guide our will, that being said, it’s no wonder why we cannot be successful if our intentions continually change. I had no idea I was even doing this until recently, but it makes total sense. Intentions and boundaries are very closely related if we think about it. How many times have we had the conversation with ourselves…I’m never doing that again…only to change our minds halfway through.
Our intention waivered, we lost our boundary line and subsequently reneged on our word.
Renege definition: Renig is a common misspelling of renege, and it is used widely and colloquially for “flaking,” “backing out,” or “changing one’s mind” (e.g., He reneged on his New Year’s resolution, the athlete reneged on his contract, or my date reneged on our plans).
Reneging on INTENTIONS – what does this do? In my opinion, this is where my integrity comes in. Keeping my word to myself. I said I would or wouldn’t do that….and I kept my word, or I didn’t….and over time, I feel like I start to not trust myself, and then give up trying. Then that stinking thinking starts to take over…that whole “I’m no good” conversation starts to permeate everything I do. It’s no different with my sober INTENTIONS.
But, it doesn’t have to be that way, and I’ve proven that to myself, over and over again the last three years that I’ve lived alcohol-free. During the three years that I’ve stuck to my sober intentions starting in December 2019, many of those things that I told myself were impossible have become possible by staying alcohol-free.
Taking the advice of Michael Singer, I stuck to my intention to stay sober by starting with the small things. Small things like staying positive in the face of situations that would normally get me riled up. The car in front of me driving 10 miles an hour below the speed limit is not in my power to control- let it go. The person in front of me in the checkout line taking forever with coupons and disputing prices will not move faster if I boil over. Let it go.
I’ve learned that life is happening all the time, all around me and also everywhere I am not. I don’t have to react to things negatively, in fact, I get to choose how I react! By setting my intention to be more positive, and let things go, knowing I have no control over anything that is happening “out there” but I have complete control over how I react to it. That INTENTION protects my sober INTENTION as well.
Intention…be more positive, non-negotiable…let the Earth spin in its orbit, let Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall happen in their own way…why not? Why be upset that the weather isn’t what I want? Why should things be any different than they are? Just because I said so? Who do I think I am?
Interestingly, by doing this daily, I’m finding myself much more at peace with life, and guess what…less and less things trigger me to want to drink. The thoughts of drinking events and circumstances away are diminishing more and more. And the more I set my intentions and stick to them, the more confident I am, the more I appreciate life just the way it is, and the more I see myself as important, and my life as something special and unique. No more do I wish away things, all things happen as a result of the Earth spinning in its orbit, not because God doesn’t love me, or the world is against me, or that person hates me and is out to get me…
Therefore, I invite each and every person reading this who has set their INTENTION to be alcohol-free today to join me. Let’s set our intention to say “NO” to all the things we said we wouldn’t do, and say “YES” to all the things we said we would.
Peace to your hearts my friends! Have a wonderful AF day!!
–I set my Sober Intentions in December of 2020 –
I have stuck to my sober intentions since December 2020 but if you had told me 3 years ago that this is where I would be today, I would have belly laughed in your face. This time 3 years ago, I was in deep denial about my drinking problem and had resigned to the fact that drinking was me, part of me, woven into the fabric of me, and my lot in life. Never did I even consider quitting…I always joked…”I’m not a quitter!”. But inside, I was slowly dying…I was in a very dark place…I had lost my mom two years prior, (almost to the day) my husband had nearly died from his stem cell transplant and was still a mere shell of the man he used to be, and COVID shutdowns were in full swing with both my boys enduring online high school, stuck on the computer for hours a day…it would still be 3 months before my final day 1.
I’d like to thank this Boom Rethink the Drink community for holding my hand through some of the toughest times I’ve ever endured in my life. And I’m here to say it was all so very worth it! So, let’s celebrate being AF today together, whether you’re on day 1, 10, 100 or 1000 or more!
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More by this Author :
The Journey to 3 Months Alcohol-Free – A Sober Momentum Road Trip
From I NEED to I AM… Traveling Through my first months sober
Learning to Feel the Feels at 8 Months Sober
My First Sober Holiday Season with the Ghosts of Christmas Past
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