This morning I was doing a rub your tummy pat your head kind of a thing. I attempted to brush my teeth with my left hand and comb my hair with my right. I was in a hurry. It wasn’t easy. Obviously, I do a much better job when I separate the two tasks. But it did make me giggle at my attempt. It made me think about how I feel sometimes in sobriety and that lead me to some ideas I’d like to share for a Dry January sobriety toolbox.
I am 16 months sober today and I am still feeling my way through each day. Sometimes I’m rubbing my tummy whining and complaining and filling the void with food or sugar, and other times my head is needing a pat “well done!” with lovely sober thoughts. And yet other times I’m doing both at the same time not doing the best at either one of them. But both are necessary just to move along to the next minute.
Once upon a time, I’m pretty sure I thought I would stop drinking and once I hit a year sober any alcohol thoughts would be conquered. But this is my reality… I will be a recovering perfectionist the rest of my life and I’ve reconciled myself to that realization. I also will struggle with food and sugar issues for the rest of my life. Why would I be able to quit alcohol and never give it another thought? Accepting that realization and then learning how my brain related to alcohol was the next step I needed. So now what? What do I do from here?
I decided a written top five list and plan of how I can pivot away from alcohol thoughts would be an excellent help. Why top five and not ten? I can’t remember ten. That’s too long of a list.
Simple quick moves on a short list, particularly in the beginning days of sobriety, must be in the toolbox. If I move away from the thought to drink or thought to purchase in a quick pivot, my brain will focus on something else in just a few seconds. Neurologically speaking that’s what the brain does unless the focus continues on alcohol.
5 Sobriety Tool Box tips for How I Pivot Away from Alcohol Thoughts ( backwards just because)
5. Move
Get up and move to another room.
I have heard the reason you forget what you were going to get or do in the next room is because you get up and pass through a doorway. Physical activity also changes the chemical activity in your body which in turn changes the neurology in your brain. So go for a walk, run up and down the steps a few times, do yoga, or just walk away from any temptation into another room or part of a store and look for something else to do.
4. Pray or Meditate
My faith is a huge part of my life and subsequently my recovery. So I choose to pray. I pray on the move most of the time throughout the day except in the morning.
For me prayer used to be a plead for myself only. I was a whiny woe-is-me pray-er.. But as I’ve aged I’ve learned to focus my prayers on others and other people. This takes me away from my immature attitude. Suffering through the quit and long-term sobriety is where I placed myself with my own actions. So, if I put my energy towards others instead of myself, I stop being so whiny in my prayers. And then I stop thinking about me and my selfish desires. I know so many people who are truly suffering.
3. Have a cup of tea and take a nap
I look forward to a cup of tea or a fizzy drink. I shop for them and overfill my fridge and cupboards so I have a large selection at any time. Certain times of day are more triggery for me. So having a cuppa or a drink to choose is key for me. If it’s in the afternoon, I pair my drink of choice with a sit-down and a little read, a nap, or some crocheting. Anything that occupies my hands and gives me a break. I work very part-time for our company so I am home most of the time. It has its benefits but it also allowed me to drink whenever I decided to start. Towards the end, I was drinking beer with lunch if it was in the house.
If I am away from home for any reason and feel triggery, I drive through or stop for a drink of choice. I love a green tea matcha latte or Frappuccino depending on the season. And sometimes I just drive through because it is one of my favorite things to do and is my sober treat of choice whether I’m triggery or not. Driving through is key for me because convenience stores here have alcohol and little bottles.
2. Read quit lit
I’m a smart person but I was really dumb when it came to the addictive qualities of alcohol. I chose to not know anything. Towards the end, when I started googling “Am I an alcoholic” , realized I had to take my blinders off and do some reading. It’s not that I was dumb but that I just really didn’t want to know.
Finding other people like me with similar drinking stories was key to my stopping. I wasn’t alone.
And then I started learning about some of the symptoms like 3 am sweats (I thought it was hormones) and blackouts (there can be lapses of memory even if you don’t pass out). That one threw me into high gear.
In college, I had many blackouts with no clue of what I did. But I was having complete memory loss of conversations or how to do something on my computer from just the day before. It scared me.
Learning some of the science behind the brain and addiction and alcohol was key for keeping me quit. I learned I was wearing that path in my brain by drinking every day at 5pm and that pissed me off at myself. I quit. I keep reading quit lit. There’s a lot to learn.
More on Quit Lit :
Books to Help you Stop Drinking and Fuel Your Sober Momentum
A Book Club About Much More Than Quit Lit
1. Get on Boom!
And most important for me was peer support. Everyone on Boom makes me not feel so ashamed.
In the beginning, I just read posts and cheered people on Boom. I remember feeling disappointed if there was nothing new to read. I don’t remember my first post or what I said. I do remember people responding positively. And then I learned about stream-of-conscious writing.
Having a rough time? Sit down and plop those words out just for yourself even if it’s just a few words. Get them out of your head. Boom is a great place to put them. It stops the words from menacing your brain. It also gives others struggling something to read to keep them busy away from their own menacing thoughts. And, most importantly, it allows people on boom to lend an ear and send support. I’ve never experienced such a supportive place. But writing out all my crazy thoughts and emotions has been key to my healing and staying sober.
I imagine if I were to continue to brush my hair and teeth at the same time I would get really good at it. Practice builds muscle memory. Thankfully I don’t need to learn those skills together. But I do need to stay sober for so many big reasons. Continually using my sobriety toolbox builds my sober muscle. The more sober muscle I have the more I realize I love my life without alcohol.
I hope you’ll build your toolbox and join me today!
WHO ARE WE?
Online Community Support to Stop Drinking – BOOM!
MORE FROM THIS AUTHOR :
Counting 1,000 Days Sober
If you’re “sober curious” …If you are drinking too much too often and want to stop or take a break… Talk to Us.
We are an independent, anonymous and private community who share resources, support and talk it through every day. It helps to have a community behind you in a world where alcohol is the only addictive drug that people will question you for NOT using
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