When I was deep into my years of drinking heavily most nights and regretting it most mornings, I developed a routine of carefully saying
“I’m drinking because I want a drink. I don’t NEED a drink I want one”.
I was consciously saying WANT instead of NEED because if I admitted to needing a drink I was entering dangerous territory. That brain-game is commonly called denial, but I’m an out of the box sort of person and I hate having generic terms like in denial thrown at me, so when I was drinking, although I pretty much knew that I was in denial, I resisted owning what that meant.
It was an easy thing to resist owning the denial because everyone I knew was happy to help me do just that.
How often have people who love you or even people who rely on you like your boss, spouse, parent, friend or child… how often has one of those people told you that you NEED a drink? You need a drink to relax you’ve had a hard day. You need a drink to numb you’ve suffered a tragedy. You need a drink to celebrate it’s a party. You need a drink to connect. You need a drink to lower your blood sugar. You need a drink for heart health. You need a drink!
Even when those people who love you, rely on you, care for you…even when they have seen you drunk and expressed concern, they’ll still often tell you that you NEED a drink now and then, because it’s how we think.
We’re conditioned to think that way.
Most of us have had our brains washed since we were children to think that adults NEED a drink and that drinking Empowers adults. Adults drink right?
We learn that it’s a natural and normal and perfectly healthy “coping strategy” for adults to drink unless they have a problem with alcohol. And then of course the problem is not the alcohol the problem is the adult.
Drinking WAS my problem. It solved NOTHING. Wine was my kryptonite. It was the RING to my inner Gollum. The more I drank the more the addiction fed on me until I actually couldn’t function easily without drinking. I said I WANTED to drink because I NEEDED to drink but it is possible to unlearn that.
Let’s condition each other in the other direction.
Let’s do a reverse brainwash.
This is why I do not WANT to drink anymore ……
I did NOT drink last night and as a result, I woke up clear-headed, with a quiet generous energy and absolutely NO self-doubt. Because I stayed sober last night and have not drunk for well over three years I OWN my feelings, reactions, body, mind.
I WANT to stay sober today because I crawled out from under the rock of alcohol addiction and have found the sun shines gently on my face each day. That is the reality that I chose. I chose sobriety because drinking did NOT empower me.
Sobriety offers Everything that Alcohol Promised– Except the Hangover and Anxiety!
How about you?
Do you need to drink? Do you want to drink? Or have you made it to the other side?
Let’s talk about it-
If you are drinking too much too often and want to stop or take a break…or if you have stopped drinking and are trying to stick to sober! Talk to Us.
We are an independent, anonymous and private community who share resources, support and talk it through every day. It helps to have a community behind you in a world where alcohol is the only addictive drug that people will question you for NOT using
How do you go Sober? ( more reading in blue titles)
B Be accountable Talk to Us We Understand
A Avoid alcohol like the plague Ideas Here
L Let yourself enjoy regular sober treats Ideas Here
A Allow yourself to cry when needed Ideas Here
N Nourish your body with good food Ideas Here
C Create happy & fun memories Ideas Here
E Enjoy the precious moments in your day Ideas Here
W Work hard to get what you want Ideas Here
O Organise things for less stress Ideas Here
R Realise you can’t control it all Ideas Here
K Keep going & prepare for success Ideas Here
S Sleep enough for body & mind rest Sleep Solutions