In my first months sober people would often tell me to fake it till you make it. When you’re in early sobriety and finding it hard to be without drinking, or when you’re facing that blah sort of, what now, feeling that comes and goes through the first year alcohol free, pretend that you are already there! Fake it till you make it!
Think of it this way : in poetic verse
Gonna Act As If !
So here’s the thing
I’m going to try acting as if
Acting as if I’m already winning
That I’m happily sober
Rather than just almost beginning (again)
As if it’s a goal I’ve achieved
And need to carefully maintain
Rather than see it as
So far out of range
A successful change I’m so grateful for
Rather than seeing it as kind of a bore
I mean, I can still do the same things as I did before
But with more finesse and dignity for sure
Going to act as if I don’t want wine anymore
There is a book by Dave Grey called Liminal Thinking. You can find a link to it here.
As he says below the illustration here, you don’t have to believe a hypothesis in order to test it. All you have to do is act as if it were true and see what happens. Ask yourself How would I act if I Believed this were true Fake it till you make it.
Dave puts out these 6 principals to create the change you want by changing the way you think – we’ve added links to posts that offer some perspective on how these principals correspond with staying sober.
1. Beliefs are models. What does it mean to be an Alcoholic?
2. Beliefs are created. Write Your Own Narrative
3. Beliefs create a shared world. How Do You Stay Sober When Your Friends Encourage You to Drink?
4. Beliefs create blind spots. From Sober Curious to Sober Courageous
5. Beliefs defend themselves. Sobriety is a Dirty Word
6. Beliefs are tied to identity. Changing my Alcoholic Mindset
You don’t have to accept what other people believe and You don’t have to believe a hypothesis in order to test it. Fake it till you make it! Act as if it’s true. In my first month sober I heard it said that sobriety offers everything that alcohol promised, and from five years sober I can tell you that it’s true!
We are an independent, anonymous and private community who share resources, support and talk it through every day. It helps to have a community behind you in a world where alcohol is the only addictive drug that people will question you for NOT using