Woman in Shadow Walking through Doors Shame and Alcohol and Sobriety

Shame, Alcohol and Sobriety

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Doing nothing and feeling everything. With everyone stuck at home in revolving lockdowns during this pandemic, we have nowhere to look but inward and maybe backward hey? Which can be useful (ish) at highlighting our regrets and shame that maybe we’ve been pushing down, ignoring. Shame is something that most people struggle with when they go sober. The trouble is, once it bubbles up, what to do with it!?

The most important relationship in my life that alcohol destroyed was my relationship with myself. It washed away my self-confidence. It isolated me from my creativity and passion by numbing my senses. And it held me down and isolated me with shame. Shame that I could not stop drinking.

Maybe try saying it out loud. I am not a bad person. That was then, this is now. And know that every other human in the planet has shame too. And then gently say goodbye to the shame and regret, as it doesn’t serve us to aim for perfection and constant comparison.

Perfection = yuck.

Maybe something symbolic can be done with the regret and shame that you find when looking inward. Maybe write down your shame and then burn the piece of paper. I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with all my origami cranes I’ve been making. I think once I have 1000 completed, I will burn them, and say goodbye to some pain. And shame.

It sometimes helps me to look at the big picture. Like really big picture. Watch a show about space maybe. Or read about human biology. Realise we inherited this weird brain through millions of years of evolution. We didn’t choose the weird parts that don’t serve us anymore. The parts that send us on shame loops and are related to lizards.

We are simply land mammals – and there are so many land mammals. We are not perfect creatures. We are these animals made up of loads of cells and goo. We feel. We think. Sure. But we are still just animals trying to make our way on a planet out in space.

Our shame, holds us back. We only know that we will one day die. Because we have the same limitations all animals have. See, we aren’t that special. Yesterday isn’t real. Tomorrow isn’t real. It’s truly only today that exists. Today your heart beats and you can breath. And how you choose to be today, is the only real thing.


When your mind is tired
And your heart is hurting
Don’t hurt yourself more
You deserve love for sure

When you’re feeling so wired
You can’t even sleep
Focus on your breath
And stop thinking too deep

Noone expects you to solve problems all the time
So don’t spend it letting your tears fall into wine

Alcohol is where anxiety hides
Cloaked in comfort
And dripping in lies

In alcohol depression has a place to creep
Then sits mercilessly on your chest
Watching you weep

The booze might not cost much
But the real price ain’t cheap – Shame and Regret
An ongoing subscription
Every day of the week?

With alcohol there’s no misconception
That for many the future’s unbelievably bleak

The good news is
It’s in your gift
To stop all this
But just ditching this shit

Whether you believe it or not
You have it within you to stop the rot

Booze hasn’t won
Until the dance is done
Find a better dance partner ?

Look over in the corner
Observing quietly
It’s Sobriety
How understated, effortlessly handsome/ pretty is he/she

A quick glance back to whom you dance with currently
And Alcohol’s turned green with jealousy

When Sobriety can offer more than Alcohol
Free spirited real fun
Or a toxic hell hole?

Poem by Floss


Freedom from shame. 

Freedom from hiding. 

Freedom to grow and succeed in fundamental aspects of my life.

Freedom from the darkness of fears.

Peace in my soul, body and mind. Without that freedom, I am in a free fall towards death.

Freedom is the opportunity to make choices for myself!

from Is Sobriety a Drag or the Ultimate Freedom?


The Spirit is not in the Bottle it’s in You …

Rethink the Drink

If you’re “sober curious” … If you are drinking too much too often and want to stop or take a break…or if you have stopped drinking and are trying to stick to sober! Talk to Us. 

We are an independent, anonymous and private community who share resources, support and talk it through every day. It helps to have a community behind you in a world where alcohol is the only addictive drug that people will question you for NOT using

You can read more about us Here And join  Here

community support 24-7 or sign up and sign in here

Don’t let the shame of the stigma keep you from saying

“I think I have a problem with drinking”


How do you go Sober? ( more reading in blue titles)

B Be accountable Talk to Us We Understand
A Avoid alcohol like the plague  Ideas Here
L Let yourself enjoy regular sober treats  Ideas Here
A Allow yourself to cry when needed  Ideas Here
Nourish your body with good food  Ideas Here
C Create happy & fun memories  Ideas Here
E Enjoy the precious moments in your day Ideas Here

W Work hard to get what you want Ideas Here
O Organise things for less stress  Ideas Here
Realise you can’t control it all Ideas Here
K Keep going & prepare for success Ideas Here
S Sleep enough for body & mind rest Sleep Solutions

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