Forever Alcohol-Free?

Forever Alcohol-Free?

So I stopped drinking in March
This year actually 
One evening
after a bottle of wine for tea 
I felt unhappy
and no longer “me”

What was I turning into?
Who knew 
If you’re going through this too
Do you still feel like you?

There were lots of questions
I started to ask 
To find the answers
my mind was tasked 
Like, wasn’t wine with tea okay,
If I don’t have it every day?

I told myself
in a stern kind of way
Well yes
but you are not eating that 
Come on now
you know it’s a fact

And the alcohol use is creeping up
The desire for food has decreased 
More meals untouched 
As you seek a false peace 

You are skipping nutrients
By just having a drink 
Wanting stress relief 
But alcohol is a health thief!

My inner voice sighed,
you’ll find out in time 
It won’t be fine 
If you don’t do something
about it now 
Ok, alright,  but how?

The next morning I felt shocking 
A bloated, hungover look I was rocking 
I went to work 
Felt such a jerk
Was such an idiot to my hubby 
How can he still love me?

Time for a change,
let’s try alcohol free 
Do it for 30 days and just see

Ok at 60 days now
I’m struggling 
But with all the fantastic support from BoozeMusings
I can resist from using 
Alcohol to ease my stress 
I know It would leave me in a mess

Feeling I needed more and more 
Back to the way I was before 
Kneeling alone in distress 
Tears falling on my kitchen floor 
Don’t want to feel like that
Anymore 

At 90 days I want to celebrate 
A reward 
A wine bottle forms in my mind 
But I play it forward 
I don’t rewind 

I don’t feel like giving away 
My hard earned sobriety days 
Press onto 100 I’ll see how I feel 
Find out the whole deal 

This sober state I’m in
Feels good not wrong 
I might be starting to win
Hmmmm I think I’ll carry on 

174 days now I think 
As I sip my AF drink 
The cravings come
but they always go
That I know 

Going to do a full year of not drinking 
And lots of thinking 
Then take a step back and see
Just how much more I feel like me
If I still feel happy 
Well alcohol might just disappear 
Permanently 

Day 174


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This poem was composed by Floss

The author of

Debunking the Romance of Mommy’s Wine Time  – The Runaway Train and Nailing the Narcissist


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