Have you ever found that when you get a bit of sober momentum going, all of a sudden out of nowhere, you’re sneakily plotting to find a quick drink? Just when you start to feel more positive that you can stay alcohol-free, it’s like an alter ego grabs you by the hand, and leads you away from your best intentions. That devil on your shoulder promises heaven but takes you back to hell. Strangely, if you think about it, this Drink Now voice is coming from you but it’s NOT really you. That voice is an echo of you that pulls you back to where you decided you no longer want to be. YOU decided to stop drinking. You chose a new path! To make that echo a shadow that gets dimmer and dimmer with time, I find it helps to objectify that voice, call it the siren’s song, the Booze Beast or the Wine Witch. Give that voice the dark identity that it deserves.

Society insists that it is ‘normal’ behavior to drink alcohol. When we don’t drink it we are often questioned by others and we also question ourselves.

The Wine Witch coos-

Drinking for one day is no big deal…You’ve proved you can quit so you’ll just quit again. One glass of wine would make this beautiful afternoon even more beautiful!

I’d never really studied just how much this drug can affect every part of my body. When I was drinking I knew that alcohol was hurting me physically, mentally, and emotionally. But whenever I tried to go alcohol-free, my Drink Now voice was louder than any rational arguments I’d read against habitual drinking.

You’ve earned it! Everyone drinks and You haven’t had a drink in days!

Sound Familiar?

Maybe that voice sounds like a friend who knows you. That voice lives in the dark recesses of your memory like an echo of who you were. But it is just that! An echo of who you no longer want to be. The best way to shut down that Drink NOW voice is to call it out. Shine a light on those distracting whispers. Diffuse that voice by sharing what it says with someone else who’s heard it too. What that intimate, familiar, and perfectly rational-sounding voice whispers in your ear, is exactly what it says to me too. Every time you listen to that voice, it becomes harder for You to trust your ability to stay alcohol-free. But every time you ignore that voice’s claim that you NEED to, WANT to, DESERVE to drink – it loses credibility .

Think of it this way – I can go and have a drink anytime I want. It’s entirely up to me!

However, I don’t want that awful feeling of failure the next day after I give in to that Drink Now voice. I don’t want the feeling of shame, the feeling of here we go again. If I do give in to the Wine Witch’s knell, it will be harder to say no and get started again. I’ll have to admit it to myself and everyone else, my daughter will be so disappointed – the trust will go. The old routine that I hate will be back, the awful headaches and anxiety will be back. I’ll just want to rush through the day to drink again. When I think this through it’s ridiculous that I would ever consider drinking again.

My Wine Witch pipes up when I’m overtired and emotional. She hates neutral and just LOVES a little drama Annoyance, sadness, excitement, and achievement are the things that feed her voice. If she can’t talk me into a drink to calm my emotions she’ll remind me that I’m a grown-ass woman accountable to no one but myself and it’s time to go out and have some well-deserved fun.

Just say SHHHHHHHHH!

Never Forget that the Wine Witch never mentions: 

-I stopped drinking because I was sick to death of unhealthy drinking during work travel, starting with Bloody Marys in the airport, moving to rum & diet coke on the plane, white wine before the lunch was served, red wine with the meal, and on to Baileys with coffee for dessert … and all before taking a taxi to my hotel destination. 

– I stopped drinking because I was sick to death of showing up foggy at a morning work meeting, not prepared with the work, but with machine gun excuses ready for when my peers asked me for my presentation.

– waking up in hotel rooms, confused about what town, and why, and with who…moments of uncertainty… then the anxiety trying to count exactly how many drinks consumed yesterday, pretending that it wasn’t “that bad”.

–  I stopped drinking because I was sick to death of sweating more than a married lady introducing her husband to her boyfriend at a social event while doing physical work as part of my job …and when people ask why I’m sweating so much, lying about a medical condition that miraculously disappeared when I stopped drinking. Yes, I still sweat, but not like THAT.

– I stopped drinking because I was sick to death of deep late-night conversations that led to tears and morning puffy eyes…with absolutely NO recollection about the topic…not knowing if I should stride into the kitchen and be casual, or if I should storm into the kitchen and slam things around to pick up where I left off the night before…but WHAT in the Hell was it about???  Needing to double-check my phone for clues, retrace my footsteps, with no idea of what pain I tossed about the night before.

Nope, the wine witch forgets those moments, where the seduction of alcohol was more important to me than the love found in my life.  She forgets the ill effects on my health, the unintentional sorrow inflicted on others, and the torn-up relationships.

Shine a light on her lies!

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Alcohol not only causes impairment of the senses but drinking it can lead to liver disease, heart problems, and other serious health issues. I Suussh that voice by reminding myself that I don’t drink anymore because alcohol is a drug, a chemical substance that changes brain function and results in alterations in perception, mood, consciousness, cognition, or behavior. Alcohol causes a loss of inhibition and judgment – which can lead to you behaving in a manner you wouldn’t normally. It can change or enhance your mood making you sad or happy. It can make you euphoric or cause aggressive behavior. These changes could lead to a bit of fun or they could be dangerous, humiliating, downright deadly. How alcohol affects you is not in your control.

Repeat!

How alcohol affects you is not in your control.

Does your “drink now” voice try to sell you Moderate Drinking to stall your sober momentum?

You haven’t had a drink in ages, your experiment proves that you CAN MODERATE! 

But What about Moderate Drinking? Why can’t you just moderate your alcohol like so many other people do ??

Let’s set REAL rules this time, and I PROMISE that you will follow them. You’re ready to control your alcohol intake!

Alcohol is an addictive drug and as such is very difficult to really use moderately. Maybe you are just looking for a slight buzz, that warm glow from the first glass, but seriously how often do you stop there? Why play Russian roulette for a beverage that contains no vitamins or minerals. but lots of calories and has been linked to many types of cancer?

We are not really encouraged to drink in true moderation anyway. Just made to feel guilty if we can’t-

Sober??You think you are too fancy for beer now, fancy pants?

This moderation trap caught me several times, and each time, it’s harder to find the door back to alcohol FREEDOM.  But I’m no fool. I know one drink means one binge for me, and that shame and disconnect would dog me for days in the aftermath.

Hey Wine Witch! Did you know that :

It takes approximately two hours to completely eliminate one (Standard) drink. So if you have four standard drinks in an evening ( two pours for most of us) your liver will be busy eliminating the alcohol for eight hours. To see how busy your liver is eliminating alcohol measure out a standard serving and check how many are really in your glass.

Alcohol Related Deaths are up 100% in Twenty years

Never allow yourself to be questioned if you make a decision to remove alcohol from your life. If you are having trouble shushing the Drink Now voice read this to your Wine Witch. Health Effects of Alcohol Check out the information here How to Stop Drinking and Stay Sober – Understanding Your Addicted Brain and grab a bit of community support and inspiration here BOOM Rethink the Drink

“I am not weak because I can’t drink like others. I am strong because I don’t.”

She is toxic, and I have no need to listen to her Drink Now voice anymore. 

Alcohol gives the illusion of taking away your sorrow
But it just stores it all up for tomorrow
Doubling or even tripling it
Along the way
If you’re drinking to relax
Drinking to forget
Drinking to fit in
You can do all of those things
Alcohol free
Without it affecting the future you seek
And if you can’t drink alcohol normally
You’re not weak
There’s nothing normal about consuming a poison you see
It’s just been “normalised” by the alcohol industry
‘Cos it’s all about profit
Isn’t it?

poem by ROK

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If you’re “sober curious” … If you are drinking too much too often and want to stop or take a break…or if you have stopped drinking and are trying to stick to sober! Talk to Us. 

We are an independent, anonymous and private community who share resources, support and talk it through every day. It helps to have a community behind you in a world where alcohol is the only addictive drug that people will question you for NOT using

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Don’t let the shame of the stigma keep you from saying

“I think I have a problem with drinking”

Sometimes….

To create the life you want
You have to want the life you’re trying to create
And time is finite
So you shouldn’t wait
How much do you want it?
Prove it
It could be great

So here’s the thing about your AV ( alcohol voice)
It’s scared of losing you to its enemy sobriety
You might feel so good you’ll never go back really
So in order to protect itself and its existence
It forever seeks to alienate you
From all good things clearly
The more your AV fears you going away
Perhaps the more it exerts it’s power to stay
But it’s forgotten one thing about you stopping drinking
Alot is about mindset and you’re changing your thinking

Feeling energy less today
That’s pretty crappy
But still better than a hangover
So that makes me happy
I might have a cold or maybe the flu
So staying in bed is the thing to do
I don’t feel dazed
Or zombie crazed
I’m liking this road
That’s sober paved

poem by Floss