Last month, April, was Alcohol Awareness month in the United States and several other countries as well. Did you know that? Most people don’t. Even in our online community, where the topic is Rethink the Drink, people are not usually aware that April is Alcohol Awareness Month. There are so many myths surrounding our need to drink to enjoy life and the stigma of living sober that talking about alcohol in a way that encourages seeing it differently is indeed uncomfortable for most people.

So we don’t.

This May, I’m going to go back and break down the myths that made it all but impossible for me to stop drinking, until I joined a community in March of 2015, where every day was alcohol-awareness day. I’ll call it #AMythBustingMay for #AlcoholAwareness.

A Myth-Busting May for Alcohol Awareness

Myth #1 : The Problem is not alcohol, the problem is you

Until I stopped drinking 10 years ago and began the process of recovery, there were a lot of myths about “recovery” that I had bought into that didn’t serve me. I felt tremendous pressure from some of the Alcoholics Anonymous members whom I interacted with in my online community to do “the work” the way that they had done it, or expect to fail. 

After years of struggling with drinking too much and not being able to stop, failing at staying sober, quite literally terrified me.

When I was 50 years old and maybe 6 weeks sober, I had heard people say “I don’t think I have another quit in me,” and that is exactly how I felt. I needed to hold on to this quit for dear life, and from what I had been reading and hearing people talk about, holding on to staying sober was as hard as getting sober in the first place. 

I found that the messaging that I was getting from members of AA who I interacted with or whose stories I read, frightened me further. I found myself feeling diminished by myths like these: 

If you do not accept the label alcoholic you are in denial and destined to fail.

The work of sobriety is the 12 steps and you will not stay sober if you do not do this specific work.

You have a disease of the mind

Your relationship with your partner is co-dependent because you are both problem drinkers and more likely than not this relationship is doomed. 

You think too much – that is part of your problem.

You are too busy busy busy- that is part of your problem. 

You are a people pleaser – that is part of the problem.

Your problem with alcohol is not the problem it’s a symptom of the problem. 

The problem is you. 

The problem is you ….

When I was 6 weeks sober and 50 years old, I bought a little eBook that I thought I would likely get little out of. But it only cost a dollar so I said why not!. The book was called Staying Sober Without AA and was more of an article, really, than a book. The author gave me permission to share that Ebook in screenshots in my online community, and you can read it there for free, by tapping here ,

Deemer’s little Ebook was full of AH-HA moments for me. While reading it I felt understood. I felt empowered. I felt that, finally, for the first time in weeks of reading book after book on addiction and recovery, someone had given me permission to simply be me. To respect myself for making the choice to stop drinking as opposed to feeling shame for needing to. To understand that the problem was NOT me but rather the solution was. He helped me find my voice in sobriety as one of self-determination and independence. 

The simplicity of Deemer’s message was exactly what I needed at that time.  

Studies have found that the success rate for people quitting on their own is the same as those quitting in some kind of a program. In other words, there is no statistical advantage to joining a program, any program. The bad news is, the majority of attempts at sobriety fail. Relapse is likely no matter what you do. In fact, everyone in my VA class at treatment has relapsed except me. One of my counselors relapsed! But if I can do it, you can do it. Why not? 

It’s your life, and you are in control of it. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Keep reading, keep learning about alcohol, and use common sense.  Remember, no excuses. NO EXCUSES.

The problem was alcohol. The Solution was me.

In the weeks, months, and years that followed my reading of Deemer’s 11 pages, the words that flowed were all about empowerment – about celebrating what worked for me, rather than feeling trapped by the myths surrounding addiction and recovery. These are my words

There has to be a moment when you look at the glass in your hand and accept 100% that once you start drinking you give up control and nothing is more important then NOT doing that anymore.

In AA I think they call it humility and surrender.

I accepted that I do not have control after the first glass and that it is a matter of life or death… and than I surrendered to a 100% commitment of my energy to stop No MATTER WHAT.

I ACCEPTED that once I start drinking I CANNOT control how much I drink

I accepted that self abuse is NOT self care

I surrendered to knowing that sometimes I simply need to rest and that’s OK.

I made a commitment to never drink again No MATTER what.

I found a community of people who will support and encourage me to do just that.

I reflect on how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking and who I am without the blur of mind-numbing, sensation-blurring, energy-sapping nightly binge drinking.

I ask questions, bare my soul, and see myself reflected positively or not in the stories of others.

I offer support and inspiration at every opportunity.

Every day since this journey began I have been

Conscious, Aware, Alive

Sober!

Are there myths about sobriety and recovery that have stood in your way as you’ve tried to stop drinking or stay sober? Break them down! I’d love to hear them. 

Join us in our Boom Rethink the Drink Community. Raise Your Alcohol Awareness with Myth-Busting May!

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