An alcohol-free life? Getting and staying alcohol-free is different for everyone. The things that work and don’t work for me are not for everyone. I don’t expect them to be because we are all unique.

A Quirky Person’s Guide to an Alcohol-Free Life

Let’s start with what works (in no particular order) for me:

Warning: My perspective may seem strange . It may go against your belief system.

A non-negotiable commitment to not drinking alcohol. No matter what happens today, I will not drink about it.
Self-acceptance: I’m not neurotypical. I have ADHD, OCD, and sensory issues. Dyslexia doesn’t help. I used alcohol to feel “normal” at times. (In addition to other reasons and excuses) I quit masking and give myself permission to be unique.
Accountability: I have an ap on my phone that keeps track of sober days, money saved, how many drinks I passed up, and other pertinent things. I read and post on BOOM.
Staying busy: I keep my mind and hands busy. I play my guitar and piano. I listen to books and music. I walk Betsy, my dog. I cook. I make sure I have creative distractions.
Goal setting: I set goals for myself. When I reach a goal, I set new ones. The first one was staying AF for one month. I was going to prove to myself I didn’t have an alcohol problem. (Yeah, right) The goal was amended to “Let’s just get through this hour and make it to bed sober., shall we.”
One thing at a time, one day at a time. Nobody gets everything all at once. I don’t have the bandwidth to reach several lofty goals all at once Nobody does.
Boundaries: People walked all over me. I felt like I had to fix everything for everybody. When I let go of feeling responsible for everything and the feelings of not being enough, not drinking got easier.
Routine: I get up, make coffee, visit BOOM, make my bed, and keep a schedule. I do certain chores on specific days. This keeps the alphabet soup of ADHD/OCD under control. There is a time limit on cleaning tasks.
Ask for help. Admitting that I can’t do everything myself was hard.
Balance and priorities are important. It’s okay if something doesn’t get done today. The world won’t end if the dishes aren’t done. The priority is not to drink.
If something doesn’t work, keep troubleshooting until the problem is solved.
Substituting things I want for alcohol: I started with little rewards like a lipstick or nail polish. I am waiting on new living room chairs.
This is an alcohol- free household. I have fancy coffee, tea, and a drinkpod for carbonated beverages. If somebody wants wine or other alcoholic beverages, they can bring their own and leave with the remainder.
Accepting the fact that no matter how hard I try, I can’t change other people: I’ve stopped trying. The only thing I can do is set a good example.
Keep growing and evolving. There is always room for new experiences and ideas. There is always room for improvement.
I accept other people’s quirks. I don’t apologize for them. My husband’s collection of hideous shirts is one of them.

What doesn’t work for me:

AA doesn’t work for me. Groups of people make me anxious. I think about germs. I can’t sit still that long. I dislike the concept of forever needing AA. Work a program? Sit still for an hour several times a week? Please, I have the attention span of a gnat.
Organized religion: I am not a believer. I can’t wrap my mind around an invisible higher power that punishes and rewards people capriciously. It has never made sense to me, not even as a child. I just can’t pretend anymore.
Labels: drunk, alcoholic, alkie, and a host of others just aren’t inaccurate. They’re damaging.
Moderation: It’s mentally exhausting to count drinks and constantly monitor alcohol intake. It’s just easier for me to not drink. No counting, no self-loathing when I drink too much-again.

This is not an all-inclusive list. It’s a snapshot of what’s been working for me for the past four years and seven months. If something stops working, I will change it. If it isn’t broken, I won’t fix it.

Do what works for you. Don’t let anyone else tell you that the way you get to bed sober today is wrong.