Today is day 4 of Sober October. It’s just a normal Sunday here. Nice weather, will probably go for a walk with the family and dog, do some gardening, cook something nice, watch some TV together in the evening. Nothing exciting. Just nice.
And as nice as Sundays are, they have proven in the past to be the MOST difficult days for me to get through without a drink. They are, or rather were ( when I first stopped drinking) super duper triggery. No amount of wine could make Sundays bearable to me. I just wanted the day to be over, or at least for it to be 4pm, because that time seemed like a reasonable starting time to start gulping copious amounts of chardonnay and get my “numb” on as quickly as possible.
I lead a busy life, but it is of my own making and often filled with things that are actually wonderful and positive. Not drinking has somehow made this even more acute, because when I drank I would eventually have to cancel something due to a hangover or illness. A self-induced horrible break. I am still learning to regulate this and trying to enjoy this big mess of life without drowning in it. Still…drowning in life seems better than drowning in alcohol.
Sundays are still hard for me for several complicated reasons, which I am not going to get into now. They are however no longer triggering. They are just hard and that is OK. I have been slowly learning that things can be difficult. Whole days or even weeks can be difficult, and I don’t have to drink. I don’t have to numb it out. The numbing didn’t help anyway and it didn’t make the next Sunday any less difficult to deal with. It actually just took little pieces out of me.
So this Sunday, this Day 4 of Sober October, I will again accept the difficulty and stick to the plan which has gotten me through every Sunday for the last 42 weeks. I will have alcohol-free drinks ready, I will have snacks ready, I will stay close to Boom, and I will protect my quit. Who’s with me?💪🏻😘
Join us for 100 Days Alcohol-free or start with 30 days sober .
There is lots of inspiration here.
Quitting drinking when you are at that point where I was. When it is so scary and so insurmountable, and you just want to avoid it. When you decide you are going to do it anyway, regardless of how afraid you are, you will win back a piece of you that you forgot you had. It is the single greatest thing I have ever done for myself and my proudest accomplishment. Don’t give up. You might be afraid and feel weak, but do it anyway. Don’t avoid it. Be brave and take that step. It is worth it and you are worth it!
Sobriety = Awake to see the sun rise🥰☀️
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