Sobriety Offers Everything that Alcohol Promised? That is a quote that I had taped on the wall next to my computer when I was first trying to stop drinking. I got the quote from a blog called Unpickled and I prayed that it was true. I hated the idea of being sober. Drinking was just a part of who I was for as long as I could remember. But the call to pour a glass of wine at the end of the day had turned into a sort of Siren song that was luring me to crash against the rocks. One glass led to one bottle which was never quite enough, so a second bottle was routinely opened.
When I was in my 20s and 30s, there were many occasions that I remember waking up hungover after a killer drinking session with friends. Sometimes, I felt full of regret on those mornings, but usually, I was savoring great memories of connection with great people over great food. However, the last couple of years that I drank, it was a very different sort of thing… I would wake up hungover after a killer drinking session of just me alone, me and my bottle, isolated and focused 100% on drinking to get drunk but having no control over how dangerously drunk I got…
and I would wake up with no fond memories of anything
just an empty sense of doom….
When I was young, I drank because alcohol promised connection. Eventually, I drank because alcohol promised me comfort. However, it gave the opposite in the end. It left me cold, alone, and afraid. The relationship had become symbiotic, parasitic, dark, and empty.
I read a great quote once that described it perfectly
The man takes a drink
the drink takes a drink
The drink takes the man
The drink had taken me.
That blog I mentioned above, Unpickled, is written by a woman named Jean who also hosts a podcast called The Bubble Hour. It starts with an intro that is a song written and performed by her. That song, and her voice became the sound that helped me take myself back, turn away from the siren song, stop drinking, and finally break free.
And at five years sober I got to thank her on her show and share my story –
Open My Bubble Hour Here