There is a myth that quitting drinking becomes impossible after a certain point.
I have often heard that the older you get the harder it is to quit drinking. I’ve also heard that the longer you drink alcohol, and the more alcohol you drink, the harder it is to get sober. I was afraid that might be true for me. When I finally stopped drinking I was in the kind of alcohol-dependent state that people are often not able to return from. Drinking 18 beers in an evening was not uncommon for me.
The issue for me was not my advanced age, I’m only 47 now. When I did stop drinking I was 43, much younger than many of the people in the online community who supported and inspired me to get sober and stay that way. My issue was advanced addiction and advanced ill health. Even though I am younger than most, I was in the darkest, rock bottom sort of hopeless place when I committed to try everything to save my life. Life was going to get short really fast if I didn’t ultimately make the choice to stop drinking. I was not well. The emergency room attendants knew it, my doctor knew it, the ambulance drivers knew it, but most importantly, I knew it.
I recall some people saying “why bother quitting if…” and “if I’m sick I don’t wanna know..” stuff like that lol 😂 And trust me, I get it.
When I was actively drinking daily, I actually prayed for an illness to end the madness of both the smoking and the drinking addictions that had me trapped. That was about 8 years ago. I figured only a medical intervention would do it.
I got that medical intervention in spades. Fortunately/unfortunately. I always saw myself as smoke free and alcohol free again one day. But just before the illness started I began to wonder if I was fooling myself. If I’d never get there. I stopped drinking because of a pulmonary embolism, turned cancer, with a side of polycystic kidney and liver disease, and other health issues seemed to slam me left right and centre for a very long time. When I stopped drinking I had one goal in mind, to heal my body of disease, then subsequently relieve myself of the physical pain that results from daily drinking.
Three and a half years later, at almost 4 years sober, it turns out I’m healthy again. No more illnesses. And my polycystic kidney and liver? I was checked a lot (with an MRI, ultrasounds, a CT scan with contrast, blood tests)… would you believe my kidney and liver are operating at peak capacity? Not just for my age – my nephrologist said if she didn’t know I had PKD/PKL- my kidneys are donor kidneys and she’d want one for transplant. My liver is doing great too. She said I’m in a category of someone half my age.
If you’re scared of quitting drinking or thinking a diagnosis of something life threatening can’t be fixed and dealt with, or maybe like me , your feeling that your ill health is just another reason to keep drinking away the pain ….think again. It’s NEVER too late to Quit Drinking. If you stop today, who knows what’ll happen. My body aged in reverse. Miracles do happen.
How Did I Stop Drinking from this hopeless place and heal beyond all my expectations?
This post shares many of the things that worked for me, What if You Only Get One Chance?.
I read blogs, I got inspired. I followed people on Instagram, and hoped and prayed I could do what they were doing but nothing stuck. I had zero belief in myself that stopping drinking was ever going to be possible for me-until finally, it was.
This community, www.BoomRethinktheDrink.com, was creating a buzz around Dry July. It wasn’t long before that I saw a member posting about 100 days of change. I wanted to know what 100 days of change would even look like, but I knew I’d never see it if I couldn’t do one month sober. Or one week for that matter. But damn, how inspiring is that…100 days of change.
Is Going Sober Worth the Trouble?
Getting sober for a few days and weeks was probably one of the hardest things I have done in my entire life. But the changes started happening and the next thing I knew this journey became more about me than alcohol
In the Beginning I started with some basics
I saved some money and bought a treadmill. A few weeks in, through a mix of running/walking every day, eating healthy foods and living without alcohol, I started sleeping soundly every night. I didn’t even dream anymore, a welcome relief because I really needed the time off.
And then quite unexpectedly – I started to grow
A month sober, and I had created a solid routine and a day filled with habits all directed at my physical health. What I didn’t realize at that time, was that I was going to see benefits I never thought possible in the other areas of my life I hadn’t committed to or even looked at. Certainly I had more energy, but as I started to really enjoy my life, I couldn’t help but notice this was far from just a physical journey. I began to meet people that didn’t drink and connected with them, we actually had a lot in common.
I started to learn more about who I am, and who I want to be in relation to others. I became aware of how much I could tolerate, physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. This was probably the most rewarding yet toughest part of my journey thus far, because it meant becoming aware of these other aspects of my life, learning to live within the limits that protect my sobriety, but also the necessary growth it would take to keep going sober.
I learned that I never learned how to balance, accept, or sit with my emotions. If I was happy, I was incredibly happy, if I was sad, I was deeply and profoundly sad. I started to recognize that when I am angry to extremes, that it is a gift of information I don’t have to act on. None of this is but as it happens, all I have to do is show up each day for it, sober.
And maybe do a little bit of work around it. What is that work? It’s what we do in BOOM. We write it out and share it with each other.
I think it’s important to highlight for myself what exactly changed In the Early Days of my Going Sober
Spiritually: I reconnected with my body and gave it back its voice.
I recognized my place in this world and how it impacts others.
I became present and started trusting in the energy around me that I can’t see or touch.
I asked myself some hard questions, such as who do I want to be when I leave this world for good?
Emotionally: I began to accept my emotional state as it is and stopped judging it.
I seek knowledge from how I feel; emotions show up for a reason.
I honor my feelings but don’t let them carry me away or consume me.
I learned to stop cutting myself down (mostly), I have been beaten up enough already.
Physically: Fitness, I’ve discovered, is going to be a large part of my journey.
I started running and hiking mostly every day of the week.
I’m Eating food I enjoy but that my body enjoys too. And I’m taking that into consideration.
I Drink more water.
Intellectually: I am learning to process my emotions.
I’ve started to tap into my creative side.
I recognize there is more than one way to get where I’m going.
I’m Becoming open to other’s ideas.
I’m learning to ask for help when I need it.
I recognize that I am not alone in my struggles.
I can actively make choices rather than be a passive participant in my life, and I don’t have to choose to become dis-empowered by alcohol.
In the almost 4 years of not drinking, I have learned to roll with things, become present with life and accepting of all the experiences that come with being alive. I’ve learned that I don’t have to be happy all the time, and I’ve also come to terms with my fear of death. In knowing that it’s not my time yet, I have the option to keep on living and experiencing.
And there’s been many incredible, wonderful experiences thus far. Miracles really. Giving up drinking and eventually smoking as well, going completely straight edge, was the best gift I ever could have given to myself. Looking back, I don’t even relate to the me that drank and smoked constantly every day. The me that hid out and isolated every weekend, that yelled at the people that I love, or mistreated.
The toxic me healed. Selfish is no longer a part of my vocabulary – self care replaced it without guilt. Self validation became something I learned about and worked on and now I don’t have to do anything “at” other people or life experiences. I can deal with them in ways that don’t harm me or others.
If you ever wonder what it’s like on the other side, this is it. It’s peaceful. It can be quiet. It can be loud, but it’s all real. Every ounce of life is real, and all in all amazing. You can do anything with the mind, body, and spirit you were given/born with. It’s always been good enough.
Without the veil of substances, you have always been good enough for everything you’ll experience. So with that, I wish you all a day of hope, love, peace, recovery, and healing. Like I said at the beginning, getting sober was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But it was definitely worth it!
Join Us! www.BoomRethinktheDrink.com
This space is a life saver. This space is a life changer- from 100 days of change, to 1415 days of freedom. Thanks to everyone here.
I’m healthy, I’m free to do whatever I want, I have created a nice little life for myself in this corner of the alcohol free world 🌎
Sometimes when I’m with people who are drinking, I look back with nostalgia, but it’s only fleeting. It’s hard to look back when you’re totally present. It’s a task to do it, takes effort. I guess that’s why when I quit before, I drank again for so long – I couldn’t remember the last alcohol-free version of myself.
A good reason to stay this way so I don’t forget this time.
Being AF carries relief, freedom, high resolution colour, and a whole range of opportunities with it, that drinking couldn’t hold a candle to.That FOMO looks so different from here, on the other side of the mountain.
Romanticize sober. Romanticize your life without alcohol. There’s no problem, no shitty experience, or bad day that even comes close to the ‘horror’ of a good day drunk. Sit on that for a while, and while you’re at it, join me for a cup of tea 🫖
More thoughts from me
Tips and Tools for Dry January and Beyond
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